WriterSiren's Xanga

new blog

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 03:04:55 GMT

I'm not sure yet if I'll phase this out completely, keep checking it and posting random things, or what... But I'm planning on using this new one for the next year or so of Spanish adventures:

http://mary-in-madrid.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Wed, 09 May 2007 05:19:24 GMT

I graduate in approximately 3 and a half days. 84 hours. Hours.

I leave for Madrid in... well, I don't have a ticket yet, so I don't know for sure, but approximately three months and three weeks.

Oh. My. God.

In a very good way. Bittersweet, oh yes. Scary, a little. But very good.

And all too conducive to sentence fragments. Not the best sign for my papers.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Sun, 25 Mar 2007 22:31:13 GMT

I'd make a newsy update, but there's not much in the way of news...

I'm sending a check to NYU tomorrow to reserve my place in Madrid next fall - or, rather, for late August, which is when they want me over there. I want them to tell me an actual date, so I can start looking for plane tickets!

Ohmygosh.

I have flashes of "I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this" moments, of course, and the even rarer "how-am-I-going-to-do-this" moments... but for the most part I just grin like an idiot from the sheer joy of it. I'm going back to Spain!

In other news, I'll be writing research papers until I collapse (sometime mid-April). I picked up my cap and gown the other day... talk about surreal. It's strange to look back over the past four years and think about how much has changed, how much all the people I love have changed... how much I have changed.

Yeah, sorry. Graduation, reminiscence, vague philosophizing... they kind of go together.

It's been a strange year in many ways. For the first time ever, I lost a friend to something more than distance. I hope not for good, but there are some things no one can control. I've vacillated between perfectionism and senioritis, I've been clubbed over the head with Studio One (lit mag), I've made gigantic decisions and reversed them and then stuck with them... and I may not be able to see where any of it is leading, but for the second time in my life I've discovered that, if I can handle what's been thrown at me so far, I can handle anything.

Hence, back to Spain. As much as I don't want to say goodbye to my friends and as much as I love it here, I think I'm ready to move on, and most everything in me yearns to be back there.

Voy haciendo mis planes
Voy sabiendo quien soy
Voy buscando mi parte
Voy logrando el control.

Puede ser que la vida me guíe hasta el sol...

The lyrics aren't mine, but I have started to write poetry in Spanish. The writing isn't flowing quite like it was last spring, but I'm finally finding the words again -- and it's spring. Time for rebirth.

Drumroll, please...

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:22:45 GMT

I got one fantastic piece of news -- a month early, even -- over break:

NYU-Madrid accepted me! You're looking at their newest Master's candidate for 2007-8! Okay, so there's legistics to be worked out... like money... but, hey. I'M GOING TO SPAIN!!!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Fri, 19 Jan 2007 21:17:48 GMT

Well, I'm back. It's my last semester of college, and this first week has been nothing but one continuous nightmare. I think it's finally over - not for the best, but not for the worst either. The tenseness that's been practically a constant companion for months now is finally gone, replaced by a worried resignation.

I can't really explain, and I don't want to alarm anyone, because I'm fine - or at least, I will be. I mainly wanted to let you all know that I might be a bit... tired/withdrawn/sad for a while yet. So if I'm not the best at communicating, please just be patient with me. I'm coping with one of the hardest challenges I've ever faced, and with its aftermath, and with knowing that it may never really be resolved.

And if you wouldn't mind saying a little prayer, I'd really appreciate that too.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 19:14:20 GMT

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Wed, 13 Dec 2006 17:45:10 GMT

What is with this snowless December? The fog yesterday was rather cool, and I do enjoy the balmy weather, but... but... I want SNOW!

I also want to be miraculously done with the two papers due tomorrow. Oh, and studying for my final (also tomorrow). While I'm at it, why not my Spanish final, and my research, and the Spanish paper I need to write for next Tuesday?

On the other hand, I've got tortilla española in the fridge, and enough wine left to make myself a calimocho tonight, and there's still leftover brownies from this weekend, all of which is good. Mmm, comfort food.

On the other hand, I'm feeling edgy and tense and stressed in so many directions that all I want to do is go home. Or back to Segovia. Either works.

My new favorite quote: "I need to write essays or DIE." -- Carissa. Sounds about right, doesn't it? My dad says I'm working too hard my senior year... haha. If he has a suggestion for how I could work less and still get everything necessary done, I'd love to hear it. I've never procrastinated this badly or been so tempted to half-ass something. Hopefully I really did leave my motivation in Spain, and it will come back to me as soon as I get to Madrid.

Speaking of which, my cine prof from last semester is going to write me a letter of recommendation! That makes me happy. Mint M&Ms make me happy too.

And tonight is going to be loooong. I predict 5 hours of sleep, maximum. Hopefully not an all-nighter, though I haven't pulled one yet so I'm probably due. Tomorrow morning I'll probably be reduced to such brilliant statements as "I like fish..." -- again.

I am so going to crash when I finally get home.

I love Spain! Yes, still.

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 16:09:49 GMT

Yesterday was just awesome. And much improved from hauling my computer around campus trying to get someone to fix it (IT's current theory: someone's been cloning my IP address on the school network, so I had about 3 days where I couldn't get on at all... but now it works again, so I have no clue what's going on, as usual. IT doesn't really have a clue either, but oh well) and freaky dreams. The only dreams I had last night were happy ones

And it was an utterly Spanish day, and if anything confirmed my resolve to go back there next year. And if I can finish my essays and writing sample this weekend, I'll be this much closer to doing so....

9-9:30 -- called my little sister in Spain, just to chat
9:40-10:50 -- Spanish class, including a presentation (it went very well)
10:50-11:45 -- talked with my Spanish prof (still in Spanish) about my final paper, Barcelona, and next year; she volunteered to write me a letter of recommendation, so hooray!

gap with work (listening to Spanish music, asking for a letter of recommendation from my boss - yay for that too!, and eating a small supper of leftovers)

7-9 -- cooked tortilla española (16 eggs, 10 potatoes, and 1.5 onions = 2 huge tortillas and 4 smaller ones!) to my favorite Spanish tunes
9-3-- ¡~F*I*E*S*T*A~!

My compañeros from last year threw a big party for next year's Segovianos (in my opinion, even better than the one we received last fall), and my tortilla and music collection were both hits. Hooray for calimochos and dancing and chatting with the friends I so rarely see! Hooray for like half of us actively trying to get back to Spain as soon as possible. And hooray for apparently not eating enough supper, because wine actually got me, shall we say, happy? It was strange. Normally it takes much more than that... If you ask me how I know, I'll deny ever having said it. Somewhere around 11:30 we all went to the bar, and when that closed we went to someone else's apartment in St. Joe to dance and chat some more, until we all tired out and went home. Out until 3 in the morning... definitely a Spanish night.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 18:20:45 GMT

I just had lunch with Pulitzer Prize-winning poet Charles Simic. And, incidentally, he too thinks I should go back to Spain.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 16:07:58 GMT

I'm sleep-deprived and caffeinated! Whee!

So. I told someone the other day that Spain changed my life, and they looked at me strangely, but it's true. And Spain is still changing my life -- and I'm going back. That's my decision. Due to a multiplicity of factors, which I could ennumerate here but won't due to lack of time (which in itself is one of the factors, that and the recurring question of whether I'm ready now), I'm not applying to grad schools for creative writing. Not this year. Someday, yes! But for now, I'm applying to NYU, SLU, and Middlebury for a Master's in Spanish. Why those schools? Because they have year-long programs in Madrid.

One year. One degree. Spain. Yesssss.

Who would have believed a year ago that I, of all people -- shy, sheltered Mary -- would be the one going back as soon as possible? (Okay, so Amanda's beating me to it, but she's already got a boyfriend over there.)

So anyway, that's my news and my decision. I feel... lighter. Relieved. Happy. (It's about time.)